it's that time of year again

You've probably all seen this before but it amused me so I thought I'd post it just in case anyone hadn't.
________________________________________________

Guide to Rag Logic

The decline of Manchester United as a potent force in English and European football has created a strange phenomenon known as Rag Logic. Rag Logic can best be defined as the converse of conventional logic. It exists largely because United fans are desperately trying to convince themselves that the glory days are not over. In order to do this it is necessary to suspend the rules of conventional logic. There are three major aspects to Rag logic which work as follows:

1. The Historical Aspect of Rag Logic:

Manchester United fans will ALWAYS refer to history in order to make a point. They rarely, if ever, utter a sentence without using the word 'treble'. They will always speak of 1999 as if it was yesterday. They will also speak of 1968 as if it was last week. Under Rag logic it is possible to say that Manchester United are CURRENTLY the best team in the world because of the achievements of George Best and Peter Schmeichel.

Typical Statement: We are the best team in England NOW because we won the Champions League in 1999.

2. The Non-Contradictory Aspect of Rag Logic:

Under the rules of Rag Logic it is impossible to contradict oneself. Therefore, fans of Manchester United will look upon the result of individual matches as proof of their superiority over other clubs when it suits one arguement but will regard league position as the deciding factor on others. Thus it is possible for them to make the following statements:

(a) Portsmouth beat us in a one-off match but we are superior to them because we are higher than them in the league.
(b) Arsenal are higher than us in the league but we are superior to them because we beat them in a one-off match.
(c) Chelsea are higher than us in the league AND they beat us in a one-off match but we are superior to them because we won the Champions League in 1999.

3. The Numerical Aspect of Rag Logic:

In order to convince themselves that Manchester United is the 'World's Greatest Football Club' it is necessary to suspend the normal rules of arithmetic. Under Rag Logic the following statements are perfectly acceptable.

(a) We have won the European Cup twice which makes us superior to Real Madrid who have only won it nine times.
(b) We are also superior to AC Milan who have only won it six times, Liverpool mere five time winners, Bayern Munich and Ajax who have only won it four times and Inter Milan, Benfica, Juventus, Porto and Nottingham Forest who have only won it twice.
(c) Recent results in meetings between United and City, have been: 2 - 0 United, 4-1 City, 3 -1 City and two draws. Any rag would instantly say that United are the better team because they beat City 2 - 0.